Love You Long Time…

Is there a difference between making love and having sex?

Far: Who knows, who cares….just fuck for fuck’s sake…

Jen: Depends how you define, but in my eyes – fuck yeah! Fucking is a sense of two people just having raw sex with no emotional attachment. I’d define making love to someone you are in love with…and, damn that’s yummy!

TechBabe: No. In either case, you’re fucking.

“Making Love” = Fucking with emotion; which, in turn,  fucks you right back,  in the end, anyway.

“Having Sex” = Fucking for fuck’s sake.

(“Making Love.” Who even says that anymore?)

Don’t…Stop…

Is it possible for you to sleep with someone of the opposite sex and not have sex?

Far: Why would you want to…

Jen: Ditto Far… and caller, close your legs…and just maybe…

TechBabe: Yes, according to my married friends.

Sex Math = Divide + Conquer

Should I ask my girlfriend how many men she’s been with?

Far: Why bother, she’ll only lie about it to make you feel better anyways. Don’t you know that women will always divide by 3 (at least) when responding to this type of absurdity…?

Jen: What’s the point?  I really see no reason for senseless questions. You know you are the only man she’s ever been with!

TechBabe: Sure, why not? And while you’re at it, you might as well ask her how many cocks she’s blown, how many she’s taken in the back-door, and how many cocks she’s had in a room at the same time. Will that make you feel better?

There are some things that are better left unknown. This is definitely one of them!

Open Sexame…

My girlfriend wants to have an open relationship. Does this mean she’s already fucking someone else? What should I do?

Far: Yes. Embrace it…

Jen: Um…what do you want me to say? Of course, she either is or has a prospect. My advice…tell her you would like to take a break or breakup before extra poking action takes place and someone really gets hurt.

TechBabe: Dude…are you really asking this question? Of course she’s already fucking someone else! So, either shrink out or feel free to dip into multiple sauces. Just keep it clean. Oh, and if you’re good with the “open relationship” concept, which is merely an ideology, keep it wrapped, even with your “girlfriend.”

In my mind, an “open relationship” really means “no relationship but I want to keep you around for [insert anything of material value here].”

Move Your Head Just a Little…

Is viewing porn healthy?

Far: Hellz yah! Never been healthier in my life…

Jen: Sure…true story, I, being me, wanted to see how crazy some people can be and rented a XXX porn…no harm I thought..WRONG. I saw some chick giving a dude a blow job until she puked on him..THE END..that has been all folks for porn for me..but if all in moderation and non-human-trafficking aspect..GO FOR IT! A healthy outlet…

TechBabe: Does Mickey Mouse have ears? Of course it is! Viewing porn, for some, is the only means to engaging in sexual activity, be it physical or mental. That’s kinda’ sad, come to think of it. But for others, it can definitely keep your sex drive going, not to mention, plugging in a few ideas that you may want to execute at some point.

Further, viewing porn is healthy for the heart: PORN = SEX = PHYSICAL ACTIVITY = CARDIO = HEALTHY!

It’s Not a TUMA!

What’s the funniest thing you accidentally called out during sex?

Far: Are you going to eat that…?

Jen: “That’s not a chew toy…”

TechBabe: I usually only call out for “God” or demand “more.” But prior to sex I have asked, “Is that a button?” Followed by, “what the fuck am I supposed to do with that?” (It was funny then and funny now but I’m pretty sure that Italian dude was stoned by the villagers.)

Who Wants Coffee…?

Is it okay to date your friend’s ex?

Far: Just try not to date him/her at the same time as your friend…

Jen: It’s all fair game…but just be mindful of time and distance…

TechBabe: Sure. But you also have to be okay with tasting your friend’s pussy, if you’re a chick, or moving into cockspace that was once occupied by one of your boy’s. That’s all. Not my cup of coffee.

High Fidelity…Or Not

What are the pros and cons of dating/sleeping with a married man?

Far: Pro: He’s married, so you don’t have to marry him…

Jen: Sounds like trouble to me…

TechBabe: No PROS. Tons of CONS! And if you really need that spelled out for you, then you’re just as dense as the married fucktard. But here are a few CONS to get your pea-sized brain working:

• Con: HE’s MARRIED!
• Con: Drama, drama, drama (unless your life is so boring it could use the stimulation).
• Con: You might get attached. Don’t go into it thinking he’s going to leave his wife for you (unless he’s really hung and can’t live off of a box of No. 2 pencils any longer).
• Con: HE’s MARRIED! (I think I said that already. But you get the point.)

But that’s just me. I’m not one to judge. Date away…(KARMA’s a BITCH)…Happy Married Man dating!

Your Lyin’ Cheatin’ Heart…

Why do men claim to sleep with women they never had??? And why is that most believe the man?

Far: Pure and simple: they lie because they can and others believe because men want to believe the fantasy of pussy…

Jen: All women are whores and liars, right? I don’t think so…some men like to placate their ego by using the clam jargon “I fucked her”. Well, if any man/woman feels the need to brag or tell all..I’d question why – and how much truth there is to that. To answer second half of question..guys believe other guys cuz they are loyal, period…women, to them, are the enemy, yet prized…

TechBabe: Only ugly men do that. I retract. Any man who talks about pussy falling out of their pockets is likely not getting any. As a result, he has to compensate, or over compensate, rather, for his pussy deficiency. Why do most believe the man? Because they are likely not getting pussy either.

Blow Me…

Do you think the AutoBlow product will mean women will no longer have to give blowjobs?

(Submitted by @amassofhumanity)

Far: Nothing beats the real thing…

Jen: Who cares…

TechBabe: Never! Might do the trick for dude that can’t get a chick to rap on the microphone but NO. Any and every dude out there would prefer real lips, a real tongue, and genuine suckage power. It’s like vibrators for chicks. Chicks would prefer the real thing. Again, it’s great to get a little “clitori stimuli” when you roll over and you’ve got no one to plug into you, but for a dude? He’s got hands right?