I broke up with a girl a year ago because I caught her cheating on me twice. Now all she does is stalk, call and text me. It’s really fuckin’ creepy. What’s the easiest way to get her to stop with or without damaging her?
(Submitted by Andrew Schueneman)
Far: I would remind her of all the things that annoyed her about you and perform them ad nauseum. Barring a baseball bat to the head (which I do not condone, I think about it a lot tho…), forwarding your number to a phone sex hotline may be an easy way out. Hiring bodyguards is another option so that they can physically hold her back if she gets too close to you during her stalking campaign.
Jen: The calls and text would stop if you would stop answering. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, quit engaging in these silly games. Find something new to fuel your loins…
A game of the fairest kind. The games where the candy is sweet and the rewards are endless hours of lollipop licking fun. Don’t assert the effort to even think about an endless case of, “please appease my guilt” played by your ever cheating ex. Find a new way to reward yourself with a game of your choice…personally, I like “Pick and Poke”. And the winner is…
TechBabe: When you say “without damaging,” are we talking physically, emotionally, tangibly? Well, I’ll give you all three.
- Physically – Not an option. It’s NEVER ok to hit or “man handle” a woman. (Unless you two are in the throes of passion.)
- Emotionally – Too late for that. You’ve already damaged her emotionally in some form for her to continue to stalk you after a year old break-up. There’s not much more damage you can instill. Well, now wait. This sounds like a job for “Super Asshole.”
You can tell her she’s fat or hone in on her lacking physical qualities to make you out to be an outright asshole or king prick. At that point, she may decide right then and there that she’s been stalking a good for nothing asshole and she’ll ween off. This isn’t a fail-safe solution, however. And another thing to note, is that you would have to be willing to wear the asshole badge for a while.
- Tangibly – In order for her to properly stalk you, she is definitely getting into a car right? Slash her tires; pour sugar in the gas tank; paint her windshield black. (Just sayin.’) You’re not damaging her here. You are merely eliminating a medium by which she is reliant upon for stalking. Also, change your phone numbers and passwords to any social networking sites and block the bitch.
But seriously dude? Restraining order! Why not and why would you care? It’s just paperwork.
Far Blog
Recent Comments